Hurry up and Wait

Hurry up and wait – this was the motto of the Army, and it was so very, very true.

There is no hurry in Africa – this is the motto in Africa, and oh so very, very true.

Hurry, Hurry, Hurry – the motto of my employer every single day.

It seems as if everything points towards hurrying, well everything except the adoption that is.

No, In the adoption they have combined all 3, we have to hurry up so we can wait in the front of the line, we need to hurry, hurry , hurry as time is wasting and the kids need us now, but now you just need to sit on your tail and wait, because the word hurry doesn’t translate well in Africa.

We chose our agency in large part because we were trying to be good stewards and went with one of the cheapest agencies available. Well you get what you pay for, and while the larger more expensive agencies would have had our children home by now, we have hit road block after road block in the most mundane of things. All of which are in Ethiopia and none of which actually have anything to do with our kids. At this point we are waiting on one signature on one piece of paper. We have been promised by those with the power that they will sign it, but our agency is unable to get them to actually do it.

I read a blog today, it made the analogy of imagining you are pregnant, heavy with child, but you don’t know your gestation time because it’s not a “normal” child. You may birth today, it may take you a few more YEARS!!!!!! All you know is you keep on being told it’s almost here, we almost have it figured out, don’t worry everything is fine.

Guess what, everything isn’t fine. My house is on a roller coaster, I knew this would happen going into the adoption, but we had done the math, and the figures showed that is everything went as slow as possible they would have been home this month. We still need a court date, to get that we need a signature. I don’t know how much longer it’s going to be.

Oh, and by being good stewards, this has actually gone to be more expensive than the other agencies. My kids want to know when we will have money again so we can afford to eat out. LOL. If I don’t laugh I would just cry. That was my Easter present to the family, I took us out to a buffet, no we can’t really afford it, but hey I can’t really afford to drive to work each day but I still do it. ($2.90 a gallon, this is nuts)

I keep looking for the bigger picture. We have been in process, for a year now. We were slow to get started, but we started talking about adopting about a year ago. We had our referral and pictures of our kids last October, that’s 7 months of watching our kids grow. We have the intake interview on DVD from December of 2004, they were still on the street then, they wouldn’t be brought into the orphanage until July. Every day I look at my pictures of my kids that I don’t know, I see so much in both of them, and yet I have never met them. I have less than 10 seconds of their voices on the DVD, and that is 2 scared little street kids not having a clue of what is going on, and reciting their names for the camera. The only words I’ve ever heard from my son, and he is explaining his sister shenanigans to the crazy white lady with the camera.

Thank God I’ve made friends with some other parents that have been to the orphanage, that have met my kids and spent time with them. I’ve heard about the quite resolve of my son, something that shines through in the intake DVD as he is taking care of his little sister. We also get to see the mischievousness of our daughter as she spends her time lying to the orphanage director about EVERYTHING, and laughing the entire time. Yes her non biological twin brother is the exact same way, yes we will have our hands full when they do get here.

Maybe not as enlightened as normal, as if I ever am, just in a dark mood today, in one of those valleys on the adoption ride. Actually this funk has settled in on my entire house, my wife was on the verge of a mental breakdown last night, and I was no support for her. We keep on having that carrot dangled in our face, but we can’t get any answers as to why it keeps getting taken away, and why it never gets any closer. Someone on one of the newsgroups I subscribe to asked me about it recently. Apparently my normal wit was missing and my flashy humor was gone. Unfortunately I started this blog on the downside of this hill, no I’m not sure I’ve hit bottom yet, so perhaps what is here is a bit dark and depressive. Unfortunately this roller coaster is very much a part of the adoption process, and where I was fine during the normal duration of how long it normally takes to complete the adoption, I forgot to pack a reserve, and I’m out of gas.

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One Response to “Hurry up and Wait”

  1. Hey Avery,

    I just watched your video and SOBBED….What a beautiful family you have. We have one adopted child from Guatemala, two the old fashioned way and are looking at Ethiopia. We are also interested in older sibling group younger than 9years. I am looking at a few agencies …can you email me with some insight.

    Thanks,
    Deanna

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