second place???????

I admit it, I’m a “Rock Star” fan. I actually like the show, and schedule my summer evenings to watch it. I even watch the little online webisodes. I can even tell you that the house band drummer, Nate Morton, has worn a little Ethiopian hat for this entire season. He is American but his band is a little reggae band that I doubt you ever heard of, I know I hadn’t.

So I was totally stoked last night when my girl, Dilana Rox, won the SuperNova contest. Now wait you say, Lukas is the new lead for the band, he won the show! No, actually by having the band choose him as the front for their band he lost.

Look at the details on this, Lukas, a no name nobody has to front a “reality show band” and has to front people with huge personalities like Tommy Lee, Gilby Clarke , and Jason Newsted. Lukas, with no past and already having the hurdle of being a reality show singer now has to try to front these guys, and have a dominant personality in the interviews so he can actually front the band. Yeah right, perhaps you didn’t notice but I’m pretty sure Tommy is going to make Lukas cry as he beats him with a wet spaghetti noodle on the tour bus for fun. I’m pretty sure the guys thought they were voting for the best Pinocchio impersonator when they chose Lukas. I mean watch the guy perform and imagine he has strings on him like a marionette, and imagine the puppeteer is drunk, and there is Lukas’s stage presence. Not to mention that Supernova decided to air some of their “best” songs as part of the show, and all of them pretty much sucked. I will give you they created one song that will be a pop radio hit, well it could have been had they chosen somebody other than the rock opera singer Lukas to sing it for them. Yeah, that seems like he won a lot doesn’t it?

Now look at Dilana Rox (really Dilana Smith). She is a nobody as far as American radio is concerned but she has had a few international hits, even a pretty decent video hit in Europe. Now by loosing to Lukas what did she get? A record deal from Gilby, she gets to go on the world wide tour and open for Supernova, and the ability to actually front a real band and be the dominant controlling factor in the direction she chooses to take. Tell me Supernova is going to let Lukas decide the direction of that band. Yeah that sounds like a real bad loss to me doesn’t it? Yeah go ask Clay Aiken how bad it is to come in 2nd place on these reality shows.

Now with all of that said, no one from this season can touch Marty Casey! Dude the Lovehammers still rock and Trees is the song we wake up to every day in our house (cell phone alarm clock and it BLARES the song at 6:45 AM every day!!)

Now it may seem like I am being odd even mentioning something as frivolous as Rock Star on the blog, but it really has gotten me to thinking about how many times “2nd place” is actually better.

You see when we started this adoption we thought we were in the process for one younger girl. We had narrowed down the agencies to 2 and had our plans in our head for what we thought we wanted. Over 19 months later I am still in the process of adopting now 2 children and still waiting for them to come home. Now the simple fact is that had we chosen the other agency we would have a daughter in our home by now, the adoption would have been long since completed and our family would be on it’s merry way, but we would have missed so much stuff it’s not even funny.

Primarily we would have lost the blessing that is our sibling set, at this point in time I don’t know what we were thinking with only adopting one child, and I can’t imagine not having these two in particular. I love my kids more than I can describe, and I am so stoke to be blessed with these 4 awesome kids, plus the awesome kids that will be added to our family in the future.  And as odd as it is to say it at this point, this struggle in the adoption has led us to begin to pray for our other kids that will be adopted in the future. So to all you adoption agencies that read my blog (I know you are out there) you can start schmoozing the Avery now!

We also have had a passion for adoption education, and transracial adoption very ingrained into us through this process. Had he had a smooth ride we wouldn’t have pushed into the meaty areas of the adoption world like we have. We would have been content to go along for the ride and not push in to see what is hiding in the dark areas of the adoption community. Our struggles to bring home our children have birthed us into being activist in the adoption community, not just adoptive parents.

To the carnal eye it seems unfair that many of the families that started their adoption journey after us, accepted their referral after ours, are now currently traveling to Ethiopia to bring their children home. But even there we have seen that our family has touched the lives of so many. We have a phone that constantly rings as families call on the verge of break downs, as they are pulling out their hair, as they are ready to call it quits and we have been able to be there for them and walk them through the turmoil and help them come out on the other side. We are now seeing some of these families complete their families and we must admit that had our kids been home we wouldn’t have been available to be there for them like we have. I’m not saying it has been easy in this regard, but through it we have developed some awesome relationships and met some really cool people.

We have met a really cool Ethiopian Negest up in Chicago. This woman is a beautiful example of internet friendships and hopefully we will find a way to meet in person soon. We are really hoping that she will come down when we have the kids dedicated at the church, it would be really cool if it works out that she can come down and spend a few days with us around then, if we stay on schedule at this point think around Thanksgiving vacation. She has aided us with our Amharic, she has assisted us with our understanding of Ethiopian culture, and she has been there when we just needed to bend an ear to someone not in the adoption community. But the relationship was formed because of the struggle of the adoption process.

Because of this struggle I am blessed to be called friend by one of the true Queens of Hollywood. I could put her name and photo right here and no one would know who she was, but the woman is a true saint. I love her heart and her family. She has been such a tremendous blessing to us, words truly can not explain what a blessing she has been to us. It is her heart, her passion, her compassion for others that makes her one of the true Queens of Hollywood and I am blessed to be her friend. It’s so refreshing to see when someone has obtained what most people think they want, when a person obtains the stature that so many are clawing to try to get to, to see a person who remains rooted in the earth, and stays true to their roots. To see someone at the top of the food chain that is still trying to look out for the little guy at the bottom, it’s rare to see that, even rarer in the dog eat dog world of Hollywood.

And on today of all days this topic weighs heavily on my mind. You see today is the day my Ethiopian children’s birthmother died. Her name was Denkenesh. My daughter will have fuzzy memories at best of her birthmother, but my son carries those memories of the mother he lost to this broken world. We are the “new’ family, and the world would be such a better place if moms and dads didn’t die and leave orphaned children behind, but that isn’t the world that we live in is it? Instead I have two children that nave been terribly wounded by the loss of their family and now they have been given an opportunity that many in Ethiopia can only dream about. In absolutely NO way am I saying that this is a better thing to have grown up with their birth parents, but because of the tremendous loss my children have suffered they are gaining opportunities beyond what they could have ever imagined. The safety, the wealth, the education that comes with this adoption is something they would have never obtained in Ethiopia.

On this day we honor our children’s birthmother, she is just as much a part of our family as our kids are. We honor their past and we honor the love and prayers their great grandmother has put upon our children in sending them to our family. Unfortunately we don’t have a photo of their mother at this point in time but we do have a photo of their grandmother.  

In honoring our children, and the past they have I would like to share my adoptive grandmother with you. She is a beautiful woman and I was honored to spend my brief time with her while I was in Ethiopia.

Saet Ayat thank you for what you have done.


4 Responses to “second place???????”

  1. Veryeautiful Avery.

  2. Great post Avery!

  3. But I thought you didn’t watch TV 😉

  4. rabbit ears —-

    i watch more than I really want to really. I watch Rockstar in the summer, and my fall lineup is LOST, My name is Earl, and The Office. Other than that, no not really. It’s nothing to go a week or so without watching any TV, but I guess it’s all relatie. Of course there are also the slumps when I feel like all I do is watch TV (although that is much rarer than the other)

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